I know, sometimes, things don’t go our way
And it seems that it gets harder everyday
You wish and hope that it’s all a dream
These ineffable feelings urge you to scream
You sit and wonder if anyone will care
These thoughts of yours, I cannot bear
I’m your friend and know that I’m always here
There’s nothing in me that you have to fear
The last thing I want is for you to be down
I want to see you smile, get rid of that frown
I love you too much to see you in pain
I’ll do all I can, I will not complain
I’ll give you everything I have to lend
I’ll be that person whom you can depend
You just have to ask me, don’t turn away
have a little faith, and it will all be okay
Acute exacerbation of COPD also known as acute exacerbations of chronic bronchitis (AECB) is a sudden worsening of COPD symptoms (shortness of breath, quantity and color of phlegm) that typically lasts for several days. It may be triggered by an infection with bacteria or viruses or by environmental pollutants.
This is what I have been fighting with these last few months. So many people have asked me what is wrong and what is happening. This is what is happening. Along with this, I keep getting infections and keep needing an assortment of different antibiotics to mend it. I am on very high doses os steroids and medication that helps with the steroids. It just seems like a never ending battle. I know that THERE ARE SO MANY who are in a much worse predicament than me and I am not looking for pity. I just need to get this out, I need to talk and vent because in my lifetime, I have never EVER been this bad before. Because of this illness I am unable to work, can’t go outside and mingle with family, can’t go out into public, can’t shop, can’t drive, can hardly do anything but stay in my room and watch TV and play games and….write….which is what I am doing at the moment while I have my breathing machine in my mouth.
Here I am! I have spurts where I get very depressed and cry on occasion. I mean who wouldn’t right? This fucking sucks! pardon me. The fights with medication and the doctors who say one thing and believe another. Its another battle that weakens me and makes me so upset. If you’ve ever been in this situation that YOU know personally how terrible it can be. I also don’t have insurance and am trying to get there help I need to try and take care off myself during this time. It’s just a never-ending loop, a annoying melody that is constantly on repeat and once it ends….here comes another infection and another NEW medication. As I said in my previous blog about life being so precious….will it certainly is. People die from severe asthma and I won’t lie a few on the medications I was on…COULD HAVE killed me one doctor said and immediately took me off of it. I have never really asked for help or been one to reach out my hand, but these last few weeks I have and to those who have offered help and prayers, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I am going to go now, i can only sit up int his chair for so long before the pain starts. I wanted to get this out and offer my love and thanks and also let people know what is happening. We are trying to see a new doctor next month and have a treatment plan at the moment. Things are so hard and so upsetting. I can’t even say how lonely I am, but I want to say thank you to my family for being there and taking care of me the best they can and also to my friends who are always there and always so kind. I love you.
I feel lucky to have found you-
A friend that is so kind and true;
To lift me up when I am down,
and make me smile when I frown.
It’s hard to find the words to say
just how much I care.
But these will have to do:
(From the bottom of my heart.)