BREATHE

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Its always been an ongoing battle with taking deep breaths in life. As a fellow asthmatic I can simply say to my following that having trouble with your lungs can be one of the most annoying, horrific and costly diseases of ones life.

I was hospitalized just recently for almost 4 days. I had a IV which they gave me over 120 MG’s of steroids to help boost my lungs back into shape. I guess hitting the big 30 turned me into a walking sack of allergies and time bombs for now I need to watch out for anything and everything that may become a trigger for my asthma. It frightens me so, having to be so careful, almost like I’m monitored for life. When I was younger all I ever had to deal with was exercise and hot weather. As the years went on, its the cold, the animals, the flowers, certain scents, drinks, food and air pressure.

It can be controlled, I know that. I can have a sustainable life living with this disease. I guess I am just complaining, needing to vent because I will always have this and it will never go away. The medicine they give me, hurts me deep inside. My bones feel like they are twisted underneath my muscles, my mind is constantly racing and my tummy grumbling and my mouth watering, always reaching for the next drink, with ice please. Extra Ice.

I just woke up from sleep, had a bad dream which is another side effect from all these pills. I too my morning dose and managed to eat something small to help it mix. I had a itch to start typing. I wanted to use my hands before the pain started. Oh yeah, the pills make my hands and feet swell to the point where I cant even use my silverware to cut my food on my plate or hold my cell phone, or brush my teeth and hair.

The point isn’t to gather pity, its just to vent. Just to get it our into this void to say FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Yeah that felt good. Now to take a shower and get clean before its hard to stand up. Thank you for listening. I can breathe now though, I am feeling better. I am just tired. Life can be so beautiful and rewarding, but damn, it can be such a pain in the lungs as well.

 

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