Life is Precious

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It dawns on you one day… how precious your life is and how not okay it is for anyone, ever, to cause you any amount of suffering, ever. Then the next time you step out the door you look at everyone and you’re thinking, “My life is precious and you’re not allowed to hurt me.”
C. JoyBell C.

Despite all the pain and suffering people endure everyday life is the most precious gift you have. Despite all the heartache and the unfairness handed to you, this life was given to you and its the only one you’ll ever get. Among the sours, there are sweets. Perhaps you met someone who made you smile, maybe you got a compliment that made you feel good about yourself. Maybe you got something, a talent or a unique trait that no one else has which makes you the special one. Its so hard to live sometimes. Its so hard to keep going. One feeling can lead some to the end of the ropes. I cant even imagine. All I want is to offer my hand which is already cut up and broken, but yet I will always offer more, offer it all. I may wish things would end, but after realizing the big picture which is…I am lucky. I am grateful for what I do have in this life. I am grateful for the air in my lungs, the days I wake up. the love that comes from others. Some aren’t as lucky, but some do have something. They always will.

“If you could possibly understand how precious and powerful your experience of this one lifetime as yourself is, you wouldn’t be trying to go anywhere else.
If you could know the perfection of time and space,
You would slow each moment down
To drain every possible nuance of juice and flavor from it.
When you leave this place, your body and mind and the earth which holds you, you will look back and only wish you had known the immense richness that you hurried through trying to find other better states of being.
But this is the best bite.
Heaven is here.
Nirvana is now.
As soon as you know that for sure
Your life will never be the same again.
In fact, in every way it seeks to get your attention. begs you to awaken to the magic right before your eyes.”
Jacob Nordby

 

Point is that you’re still breathing. You’re still here. I am still here. We need to make this worth it all. Even if you’re all alone and have no one. I am here for you. I love you. I love myself. We need to get through this and we will. Life is precious and so are you, as am I. We deserve the best. Always. Its fucking sucks, but its worth it. Keep going. Keep fighting.

“It’s amazing to see the beauty of the world. It’s so beautiful and so brutal. It’s a reminder that every second of life is precious.”
Sally Green

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BREATHE

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Its always been an ongoing battle with taking deep breaths in life. As a fellow asthmatic I can simply say to my following that having trouble with your lungs can be one of the most annoying, horrific and costly diseases of ones life.

I was hospitalized just recently for almost 4 days. I had a IV which they gave me over 120 MG’s of steroids to help boost my lungs back into shape. I guess hitting the big 30 turned me into a walking sack of allergies and time bombs for now I need to watch out for anything and everything that may become a trigger for my asthma. It frightens me so, having to be so careful, almost like I’m monitored for life. When I was younger all I ever had to deal with was exercise and hot weather. As the years went on, its the cold, the animals, the flowers, certain scents, drinks, food and air pressure.

It can be controlled, I know that. I can have a sustainable life living with this disease. I guess I am just complaining, needing to vent because I will always have this and it will never go away. The medicine they give me, hurts me deep inside. My bones feel like they are twisted underneath my muscles, my mind is constantly racing and my tummy grumbling and my mouth watering, always reaching for the next drink, with ice please. Extra Ice.

I just woke up from sleep, had a bad dream which is another side effect from all these pills. I too my morning dose and managed to eat something small to help it mix. I had a itch to start typing. I wanted to use my hands before the pain started. Oh yeah, the pills make my hands and feet swell to the point where I cant even use my silverware to cut my food on my plate or hold my cell phone, or brush my teeth and hair.

The point isn’t to gather pity, its just to vent. Just to get it our into this void to say FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Yeah that felt good. Now to take a shower and get clean before its hard to stand up. Thank you for listening. I can breathe now though, I am feeling better. I am just tired. Life can be so beautiful and rewarding, but damn, it can be such a pain in the lungs as well.