You Never Know

 

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My heart is bursting.

Compact with the eagerness of vintage flowers waiting to be thrown into the air.

My eyes are sparkling.

Glistening with the passionate waters of eternal thirst yearning to be pouring into your veins.

My mind is racing.

Spinning like the horrid winds of the dreadful twisters of insanity, longing to whisk you away into my arms.

 

Sometimes the words I see in my mind tend to come out before I even have a chance to speak them directly. This poem I wrote describes my notions on love. My love for another person, my love for myself. I have many demons and battles to overcome, this is fact. One demon I don’t have to worry about is the one for my self. I do love who I am and what I try to do. I fail so many times, but I also pick myself up as well. I keep trying. In school whenever there was a certain situation where someone was afraid to go “first” or to exceed expectations or take risks, I always stepped forward. There was never a lingering moment. I had fearlessness. Sometimes I wish that bravery would step out against my food addiction voice and knock it on its ass once and for all, but I know it’s all up to me in the end. No one can win your battles for you. I always loved that though about myself.

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I never had any fear when asking for what I wanted or needed. I figured at least I could try once and see what would happen. I should get the words “You never know” tattooed on me, for they seem to be a sort of my motto in life. For instance “you never know” what might happen if you don’t quit your job. “You never know” what might happen if you be the one to call the guy first and ask him out. “You never know” if you can get extra help if you ask the questions people are to shy or lazy to ask themselves. You just never know. I never know. What will happen in a year? a week? a day? an hour? You never know. All I know at this moment is that I am doing the best I can. I love who I am and my heart is longing to love another with all the beats and joys it can possibly hold within itself. I don’t know who they will be. But I know that I will do everything and anything for them. Its true when they say that you treat others you love better than how you treat yourself. Here I am saying I will do anything for the person I fall in love with and I should also be doing the same for myself. Guess what? I am. In my own way I am. I’m proud of that. Proud of me. Proud of life. Of love. You never know.

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